1 Boy = 3 Ring Circus

You’d think that dropping off the kids at daycare in the morning would be more of an ordeal than picking them up. My kids toodle off to their classes and settle in quite nicely. Aside from the herding cats-style meandering to and from the van, my day starts out pretty peacefully.

It’s the pick-up from daycare at the end of the day that inevitably turns into a circus of Ringling proportions.

Yesterday’s pick up went like this…

Pick up daughter’s bags. Go outside and pick up daughter from toddler playground. She runs up to me completely excited to see me and ready to go. Pick up son from pre-schooler playground. He sees me and runs away to hide. Find son and herd him out of playground. Son runs back and forth along the path. Notice that son has peed his pants. Herd son back to his classroom to get his bags, do potty break, and change pants and underwear. Son protests that he doesn’t have to pee. Finally get son out of wet pants and underwear and onto toilet. Son gets off toilet and runs around classroom half naked while looking for missing socks. Finally get son into clean pants and underwear while trying to keep daughter from flooding the sink and getting soaking wet. Realize that son’s jacket is still by the playground. Carry daughter and herd son back to the playground. Son insists on going back into the playground to hug all of his friends good bye. Finally herd son back out of playground, while carrying daughter, bags, and jacket. Son races back and forth on the path. Reach the parking lot. Son wipes out spectacularly, skins his knee, and wails at earsplitting volumes. Drag son and daughter back into daycare entrance. Track down a teacher to get bandaids and wet cloth. Daughter decides to wail because big brother is wailing. Finally get scraped knee cleaned and bandaged up. Son refuses to walk to the van. Carry daughter in arms, piggy back son, and carry all bags out to the van. Son is still wailing. Drop everything and everyone in the grass next to the parking lot and load one child at a time, then all baggage into the van. Son is still wailing. Drive home. Children refuse to walk to the house. Carry one child at a time into the house, then go back for all of their crap. Son finally quits wailing.

Fun times.

Posted in Parenting, Behaving Badly, Annoying Kid, Childcare, Daycare, Life, Working parents, Motherhood | Tagged , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Monday Quotes #4

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. Phyllis Diller

My kids are a bit young for the running away from home bit. But I clearly remember ‘running away’ at least once. I got as far as the car in the driveway. I didn’t last very long out there either. It was pretty damn cold.

We are raising our children in a much warmer climate than the one I grew up in. I wonder how long they’ll ‘run away’ for. Really cold weather is kind of like an invisible fence. I may have to keep a closer eye on them than my own parents needed to do with me.

Posted in Parenting, Behaving Badly, Life, Monday Quotes | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Why? Why? Why?

Yesterday I whipped out the old, “because mommy is the boss of you!” Why did I do it? Because my son has entered the dreaded WHY stage. It doesn’t matter what the subject is or what I say. He now needs to know why.

The problem with the WHY stage is that every time you provide an answer to the why, they follow it up with another why. I’m quickly realizing that there is a distinct possibility that this is a game I am going to lose unless I take proactive measures and come up with some good becauses.

As a public service to all parents of children in the WHY stage, here are a few of the becauses that I have come up with. Feel free to add your own, because mine aren’t going to last very long at the rate we’re going.

  • because your teeth will fall out if you don’t.
  • because Santa wanted to make sure that you really deserve your presents next Christmas.
  • because the bad guys might come and get you if you keep on doing that.
  • because the dinosaurs wouldn’t like it.
  • because you’ll break it.
  • why do you think it is?
  • sometimes there is no why, there only is or is not.
  • because we don’t want to get into an accident and die.
  • wouldn’t you like to watch some TV now?
  • here, have an ice cream cone.
  • Honey, can you pour me another drink?
  • just be quiet and go to sleep.

As you can see, I’m starting to get a bit desperate!

 

Posted in Advice, Annoying Kid, Conversations with children, Motherhood, Parenting, Top Lists | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments