I have been trying to kick the habit of reading the comments following online news stories. This is a dangerous and infuriating habit and doing it completely destroys my belief in intelligent life out there. On the other hand, I have also learned some very important lessons. The most important lesson I have learned from commenters is that everything is the government’s fault. Without fail, no matter the story, event, crime, policy or legislation, there will be some way to link it back to the government, who obviously bears some level of responsibility for the occurrence.
As a result of this important lesson, I have decided to find ways to blame the current government for the following:
- The last banana always goes brown before we manage to eat it. Clearly the government has dropped the ball in regulating food freshness. However, if they institute a banana bread making program for the bakingly challenged, then I will continue to support them.
- Having to make lunches every night. The government needs to support families by making daycare and school meal plans mandatory – they should also subsidize those meal plans.
- Nothing good on TV. Obviously CBC (yes I’m Canadian) is not providing sufficiently entertaining program during the times I require it. The government needs to regulate the times when popular tv shows are aired, taking into consideration my children’s bedtimes, naptimes, and the amount of time I require to make lunches before I’m free to sack out in front of the tube.
- Snow. If the government were doing it’s job to ensure that our average temperature increases enough to completely abolish snow, then I would no longer have to deal with snow.
- Student loan debt. Yes, years later I am still paying for my education. Seriously, it’s the government’s fault that I haven’t paid it off yet. If they would just provide us all with free education, then we wouldn’t have any student loan debt.
Is there anything you don’t like? Blame the government! It’s so easy, and blaming the government means that you no longer have to take responsibility for anything yourself.