Overheard on the Street

So I was walking out to the mini van-man when I overheard some kid say to his friend, “Do you want to watch me poo?” At least that’s what I thought I heard. It got me thinking about going to the bathroom alone, which is something I only get to do at work and late in the evening.

I don’t understand the need my children have to join me in the bathroom. They have absolutely no sense of the private nature of taking care of business. If I disappear without telling them where I’m going, they freak out. Where is mommy? If I tell them where I’m going and proceed to close, and god forbid, lock the bathroom door, then they stand outside wailing like it’s the end of the world. What’s a mother to do?

So I can either announce loudly, “Mommy is going to the bathroom!” And have two little ones come racing over to join me, leaning against my legs as I sit there, trying to hold my pants up as high on my lap as possible, while fending  off their attempts to peer into the toilet between my legs.

Mommy are you pooing? I can hear you pee! What are you doing? Mommy, where’s your penis? Is that your belly button?

Or I can attempt to sneak off furtively and hopefully finish my business before either of them notices I’m gone and leave the door open just in case they do.

I realize that they do not get privacy when it comes to the bathroom either. I’m there for baths, to wipe little bums, change diapers, make sure the toilet gets flushed, hand them toilet paper, and so on. How would they know that a person grows up to see the bathroom as a private, one-person only, kind of place? Thank goodness it’s just a matter of time. Unless of course, they start inviting other kids to join them like the neighbor kid apparently does!

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About dirtyrottenparenting

I'm a parent of two lovely (most of the time) children. I work full time out of the home and I don't cook well, bake, sew, or do crafty things. I keep my high heels and jewelry at my office because there's no point in having them at home. I love Mondays because I can return to the world of adults, go to the bathroom alone and have nearly uninterrupted conversations with others.
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