No Modesty Mother’s Day

As promised, here is my no modesty Mother’s Day post. This is the post where I get to tell everyone why I am such an awesome mom and why my family is just so damn lucky to have me!

I’m pretty sure that your family is damn lucky to have you too! But you’ll just have to come up with your own reasons or wait for them to tell you. I don’t like waiting.

Here is my awesome list in no particular order. I’m numbering it so you can easily tell exactly how many things make me awesome.

  1. I tell great Batman & Robin stories with choose your own adventure features.
  2. I bought a tent just for setting up in the living room to play in. It’s in the backyard now, but it’s still lots of fun.
  3. I can juggle.
  4. I have caught my children’s poop in the bathtub before it hit the water. I did it to avoid having to drain and refill the tub mid-bath.
  5. I make up songs about everything. I even made up a song that can be about any subject requested, usually about Batman & Robin. (Are you sensing a theme yet?)
  6. I make a mean lego tower.
  7. I dance with my kids. I look like Elaine on Seinfeld but I still dance. At least I know I’m a bad dancer.
  8. I can drive, hand out snacks, pick up toys, and tell stories simultaneously.
  9. I have razor sharp wit and constantly say clever things. I know I’m hilarious because my kids laugh like crazy all the time because of me.
  10. I have never strangled my children. I know this is setting the awesome bar pretty low, but some days this is an accomplishment!
  11. I give my kids great toys to play with; things like cardboard boxes, plastic containers, toilet paper rolls, and old magazines. Don’t say I never get them anything nice.
  12. I let my kids play in the street. It’s not too busy, really.
  13. I am the ultimate medicine woman. Who knew how many injuries a few pieces of ice and a bandaid could fix? Sometimes the really serious injuries need a kiss too. It’s like  I have magic powers or something!
  14. I have helped to teach my kids to belch and fart. Sometimes you just have to set an example for children to learn the right way to do things.
  15. I made a devil costume for my son’s first halloween. I believe it’s important to set the tone for your children on religious holidays.
  16. I am contentious about making sure my children don’t each too much junk food and selflessly consume their goodie bag contents late at night in order to spare them the inevitable tummy aches.
  17. I let my children get dirty when they play. Really filthy and smelly. Kids love that sort of thing. Plus all of the filth and germs help them build up their immune systems. That way they hardly ever get sick. See, we all win!

These are just a few things that prove I’m a pretty awesome mom. What about you? What makes you an awesome mother?

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About dirtyrottenparenting

I'm a parent of two lovely (most of the time) children. I work full time out of the home and I don't cook well, bake, sew, or do crafty things. I keep my high heels and jewelry at my office because there's no point in having them at home. I love Mondays because I can return to the world of adults, go to the bathroom alone and have nearly uninterrupted conversations with others.
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12 Responses to No Modesty Mother’s Day

  1. Kathy V. says:

    I am an awesome mother because, in spite of any ideas of only feeding him wholesome, nutritious, home-cooked food, I let him have kielbasa and chocolate cupcake at a party today, and I didn’t feel a lick of guilt over it. I know how to be flexible. I’m also an awesome mother because I can read him stories in lots of different voices and accents, which really helps to spice up “Goodnight Moon”, lemme tell ya.

  2. help4yourfamily says:

    Catching poop before it hits the water! You are amazing and talented.
    I am awesome because when I told my seven year old daughter today that she was beautiful inside and out she said, “I know” without a hint of conceit, she just knew I was right. I am also awesome because my girls get dirty outside- and I mean- come in, take off your clothes before you continue so you don’t track mud through the house dirty and I don’t give them a hard time about it. Happy mother’s day 🙂

  3. workingmommawithababy says:

    I’m glad you haven’t strangled your kids! I believe that is a fantastic accomplishment!

  4. fmlinardo says:

    Stay at home father here, from my perspective #4 on the list is all the proof you need of your awesomeness.

  5. Cari says:

    Your list is phenomenal. Award worthy actually. Catching poop mid-air is like some Jedi-type stuff! Great post, happy Mother’s Day!

  6. Pingback: Beautiful Blogger Award | help4yourfamily

  7. Pingback: Wall of Awesome Parenting Moments « help4yourfamily

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