Free Child Give-Away!

Some days, this morning is a prime example, I briefly wonder how much money I could get for my 4 year old (at this stage, not a cent). I would never go so far as to post a for-sale ad online, but clearly there are others who have taken the next step in their “get rid of my bundle of joy” fantasy. Check out the recent article on a free baby classified ad that has local police on the case.

Obviously someone had a much rougher morning than I had.

What makes you fantasize about an un-parenting life? Don’t tell me you’ve never considered your life sans children you big fat liar! We all do it.

For me, it’s the whining. Whining drains my parenting well of love and compassion until all I want to do is curl up in a  dark corner with my hands over my ears and chant “lalalalalalalala.” It’s not pretty.

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About dirtyrottenparenting

I'm a parent of two lovely (most of the time) children. I work full time out of the home and I don't cook well, bake, sew, or do crafty things. I keep my high heels and jewelry at my office because there's no point in having them at home. I love Mondays because I can return to the world of adults, go to the bathroom alone and have nearly uninterrupted conversations with others.
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23 Responses to Free Child Give-Away!

  1. It’s the defiance for me. The I-will-do-exactly-the-opposite-of-what-you-say-and-smile-the-entire-time kind of defiance. Grrrrr! They’re lucky they’re cute or they would have been on Ebay about a year ago! Aren’t toddlers FUN?!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  2. jennnadams says:

    Oh my gosh! My daughter will be 3 in December. I wouldn’t give her up for anything and I’ve been a single mom since I’ve had her. Though I have those ‘lovely’ days, but that’s all part of parenting…right? I think some of us parents have those days where we want to lock ourselves in the closet for a few mins…or hours and cry, but there are those still precious moments.

    • Yep, precious moments where they lavish me with compliments like “mommy your boobs are soooo big” and how they run to meet me when I pick them up from daycare, throw their dirt encased arms around my clean dress pants and rub their snot encrusted faces against my white shirts! And naturally there are those sappy, cuddly precious moments too, but they’re not quite as hilarious to write about.

  3. Lynette says:

    My biggest thing that makes me want to turn and run is when the twins keep bashing each other over the head while the baby is screaming, using an exceedingly high pitch, at the top of his lungs. That is when I put EVERYONE, including myself, in timeout. lol

  4. jaiepicure says:

    There cannot possibly a morning or night that can be so bad to post a listing to sell your child.

  5. babydot74 says:

    I’m going through the terrible 3’s with my own kid and he’s driving me nuts with his unnecessary screaming, hitting when told not do to something/when he doesn’t get what he wants and the defiance. When will it all be over? People just tell me it’s a phase and I’m just hoping it’ll be a relatively fast phase. *sigh* And I thought the Terrible 2’s and tantrums were bad. 3’s are so much more worse! 😦

  6. shannon2818 says:

    I think about it too! The whinning really gets to me as well. I have a 4-year-old too, and he’s great at talking back right now.

  7. Kathy V. says:

    Mine is still bitty, so he’s not defiant or anything, but I have to say. Every morning, waking up in the wee hours, thinking about how all I want in that moment is to go back to sleep? Yeah. I’ve contemplated at least loaning him out for a few days. Maybe a Toddler Rental Service? It’s the best form of birth control!

    • I was thinking of a rental program as well. Parents can hire a child for their teen to teach them why they don’t want to be a teen mom (or teen dad). It could backfire though. My kids seem to behave much better for other people.

      • Kathy V. says:

        I think it’ll only work if the rental period is long enough. Like, no rentals of less than two weeks. That should give enough time for the novelty to wear off and normal behavior to start setting in.

  8. You know that law that allows desperate unprepared mothers to drop off their bundles of terror at the local hospital or police station? Well, people started dropping off their older children and teenagers so they ended up putting an age cap on the program. I believe you can only do it until your child is three now.

    And sadly I’m not kidding.

  9. With A Spin says:

    I’ve had rough mornings and days since I work full time and dear hubby travels and out of town Mon-Thur. Don’t think I would ever put my daughter up for sale ad, but I have been having some conversation with my thirteen month old about keeping the house tidy the way we had it the first day she came home. Stay tuned for my next post for more on that conversation.

    • As cracker crumbs crunch beneath my feet, I’d like to wish you well on your quest to keeping the house tidy. I like to think of ‘tidy’ and ‘clean’ being 2 entirely different, and only remotely related, things. You can have one without the other.

  10. Laura says:

    I have a teenager and that phenomena has bred a whole other kind of sans-kids fantasy! Every day I have the joy of riding on my daughter’s hormonal roller coaster, in and out of social drama, boy drama, biotchy girl drama (they can be so very mean…). But I haven’t longed for a life w/out kid (I only have one) for quite a while. Ok, recently I started dating a guy and did fantasize about the week-on, week-off custody deal that so many single parents do. (I’ve always been an Only Parent.). But that’s very situation-specific. Good luck with your littles! It gets easier, when you can balance out the pain-in-the-a stuff with genuine friendship. 🙂

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