Things to Learn Before Starting School

schoolIn September, my son will start kindergarten. He’s been going to daycare for years, but this is different. This means that he is a big boy. This means he’ll have to do even more stuff for himself. This means he’ll have to behave in socially acceptable ways in order to fit in and not be made fun of by the other kids.

He’s got a few things left to learn. I’m working on a list of things to teach my son before he starts school in fall. Very important things.

  • Keep your hands out of your pants.
  • Go to the bathroom before you start peeing in your pants.
  • Sit down and use your hands to take off your shoes, don’t just kick your feet around hoping your shoes will fly off eventually.
  • When your teacher asks you to do something, do it. Don’t wait for them to yell or count to three before slowly complying.
  • Don’t ask to see anyone’s poo or pee and do not ask them if they want to see yours.
  • Wait until you are in the bathroom with your stall door closed before you start taking your pants off.
  • It’s okay if you can’t do something yet. Keep trying. You won’t learn if you don’t try, over and over again.
  • If you get a hole in your pants, do not rip it even more. I will fix it for you when you get home if the pant leg is still on.
  • Do not give your mittens, scarf, hat, shoes, or any other item of clothing to your friends. We cannot afford to clothe your entire class. You can however, give them other cool things, like rocks, leaves, caterpillars, and sticks instead of putting them in your pockets.

Did I miss anything else that would be important to learn? We’ve already been working on sharing, turn taking, and saying ‘please’ and ‘thank-you.’


About dirtyrottenparenting

I'm a parent of two lovely (most of the time) children. I work full time out of the home and I don't cook well, bake, sew, or do crafty things. I keep my high heels and jewelry at my office because there's no point in having them at home.
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23 Responses to Things to Learn Before Starting School

  1. AMooreOn says:

    My daughter (3) has started picking her nose, so we’re working on making sure she gets a Kleenex!

    • I should add that one. Pick your nose with a Kleenex and not with your bare finger.

      • Kristen says:

        Oh…AND…always remember the age-old adage: “You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends – but you CAN’T pick your friends nose!”.

        And, choose to ignore (and never repeat) the bubble-gum nursery rhyme (you know the one – “Pick your nose, pick your bum, now you’ve got some bubblegum”). It’s just gross. Thank you Kindergarten and Grade 1 for implanting this into my memory. May my homeschooled children NEVER learn this. 😛

      • Oh never fear, I’m sure they have some little cousins who will teach them a thing or two learned in public school!

  2. sillyliss says:

    Emilia is starting kindergarten this year, too! I shall have to share this list with her. Also, no scratching in public. That’s the one we’re trying to work on. Also, no announcing the passing of gas. I never knew all the things that need to be taught.

  3. Rita Russell says:

    Handwashing is a big one – after going to the bathroom and before and after lunch or snacks. I remember when my kids first went to school they brought home every single bug, virus, cold, flu etc. and shared them with me. The one and only time I really didn’t appreciate sharing.

  4. These were quite funny, esp. the one about showing other people your pee and poop. Ah, kids. Mine are homeschooled, so I guess they probably get away with a bit more than most. Then again, they are also girls, so I think I have a bit less to teach them NOT to do.

  5. Lynette says:

    I would also recommend, not destroying things that are not yours, e.g. any lego or block building/counting models they may make in an effort to learn. One of my twins had a hissy and was sent to the office for his stomping throughout the classroom destroying all the other kids projects. Yep, my kid, the ‘Destroyer of All Things’ aka: Archie. He calmed down, but the I still feel the need to apologize…

  6. workingmommawithababy says:

    My sister works with 2nd graders and says the room is stinky all the time. So he may be able to get away with passing gas in public for a bit longer. 😉

  7. Slimdusty says:

    I love the list. Very funny and much to familiar!

    A not so funny one, but one I found necessary was:

    No pushing or shoving, be patient.

    Great post.

  8. They’re covering some of those in daycare/preschool. Things like waiting your turn, sharing, no pushing, hitting, biting, eye gouging, hair pulling, karate chopping, and so on.

  9. Slimdusty says:

    Both of my boys are fluent in Hiyah! But the deadly art must be used only in case of emergency. 😉

  10. Raul Wallace says:

    I haven’t, until now, given much thought to the inevitability that not all of the parents we interact with are going to be people we get along with. Having kids doesn’t automatically make people agreeable (though it hopefully makes them more so… parenting is profound like that). I find pretty much everyone agreeable, generally, and this situation was a little extra weird because it was someone I knew and thought I could approach with regard to her kid deliberately pushing mine. But maybe it’d be even more complicated if it were a parent I didn’t know at all. What if this kind of thing happened in a school setting? I suppose in that situation there’d be an impartial third party (a teacher) supervising things. But still… parental politics are looking, from here, like some potentially tricky terrain.

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