“Share” if you love your children.
“Like” if you are married to a good man/woman/person.
I don’t like being told what to do. So to all of you who keep posting cutesy pictures on Facebook that instruct me to “share” or “like” something if I love someone, bleah! You suck.
Why do you suck? Because you are implying that if I don’t “share” or “like” your stupid, irritatingly cute pictures, that I am silently announcing to the world that I do not love my children with all my heart or that I am married to a bad person or that I hate puppies and kittens. Really?!
Why are you doing this to me? Are you doing it because you’re not confident that your “friends” will know that you actually love your kids, spouse, and/or baby animals? Are you afraid that if you don’t “share” or “like” sentimental Facebook crap, that somehow your love for others is invalidated? What on earth is going through your mind?
Oh no, if I don’t “like” this, little Johnny will think I don’t love him. Quick! Click “like!”
Damn it! If I don’t “share” this picture, then cute little kittens will die horrible deaths! Where’s the mouse? Click damn you, click!
I confess to having a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Posting a status update is like making a personal announcement during a high school assembly and then opening up the floor for audience responses. Only it’s not usually just your high school buddies in the gym, it’s your family, co-workers, kids, friends’ kids, acquaintances, and that weird girl from college that you haven’t unfriended yet.
For the most part, I sit in the back of the gym and enjoy the show. So go ahead, don’t “share” or “like” if you don’t want to. I promise, I won’t think less of you for your inaction.
Then again, if you don’t “share” or “like” this post, well let’s just say that somewhere in the world, small cute things will be taken over by evil and destroy everything you love. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for that would you?