Dear little one,
When you woke up an hour and a half early for the 5th morning in a row today, mommy was not very happy. Could you tell? When mommy opens your door and growls “get back in bed. Now. It’s not morning yet.” That means you’ve done something horrible and you should not do it again.
But you have. Five times in a row.
You should know that mommy’s deep well of love for you is starting to dry up a little. You’re not as cute when mommy hasn’t gotten enough sleep.
You should also know that for every hour of sleep you destroy, mommy loses a month off of her expected life span. At this rate, daddy will be dealing with your teen years on his own.
Trust me when I say that you are not going to enjoy daddy’s versions of the “birds and the bees” talk or the “you’re becoming a woman now” talk very much. They will be honed to extract the maximum level of embarrassment out of you. Daddy is extremely skilled that way.
You can still save yourself. All you have to do is stay in bed and keep your mouth shut until the appropriate time of day. If you do this, mommy promises to stop growling.
Love (for now)