Potty training advice from a pro

Potty training can be an extremely stressful time for both children and their parents. There are expectations. If your kid is three and untrained, then clearly you are failing as a parent or your child is developmentally delayed (or something equally ridiculous).

Days and weeks go by after the child’s third birthday and you’ve tried bribery with sticker charts, candy treats, cool new underwear, trips to McDonald’s Play Place and still, your child refused to even look at the little cushioned toilet seat you purchased just for him or her.

Months go by and other parents give you strange looks when you hoist your huge kid onto the tiny change table in the public washroom. You wonder if the hinge on the table will give way and if it would be worse to just lay your child on the filthy washroom floor to change them.

You purchase one more box of pull-ups saying yet again, this is the last box we’re going to buy. When these are all gone, you need to be using the potty all the time. As the box empties, you clip the coupon for another box in resignation.

You are at your wit’s end trying to figure out how to get your kid potty trained and I am here to give you the best potty training advice you’ll ever hear:

  1. Stop stressing out. Your kid will learn eventually.
  2. Research shows that most kids’ bladders aren’t ready for controlled peeing until they are 3 or 4 years old so don’t worry about training them earlier than that.
  3. Febreeze really helps get the urine smell out of couches and carpets.
  4. The more you pressure your kid, the more stressed out they’ll get, and the more likely they will be to pee their pants. So chill.
  5. When they are ready, use M&M’s as your candy bribe of choice; they don’t melt as fast and handfuls of them can help reduce your stress levels.

See? Easy as eating pie. Now I just need to go pick up another case of pull-ups for my 3-year-old and we’re all set.

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About dirtyrottenparenting

I'm a parent of two lovely (most of the time) children. I work full time out of the home and I don't cook well, bake, sew, or do crafty things. I keep my high heels and jewelry at my office because there's no point in having them at home. I love Mondays because I can return to the world of adults, go to the bathroom alone and have nearly uninterrupted conversations with others.
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3 Responses to Potty training advice from a pro

  1. Lynette says:

    Vinegar is also really great at getting smells out of clothes. I use it in all my laundry, even with cloth diapers and it works wonders! This summer Im going to tackle the potty training with my youngest who will be almost 3. Since it will be summer, Im just going to let him run around bare bottomed. I just hope the family of little girls (or rather their parents) next door will be okay with that. If not, oh well.

  2. sillyliss says:

    Haha, this is GREAT. Wish I would have read it before I tried to potty train Emilia. She was very frustrating!

    We use M&Ms with Sidrah. She licks them. They make a mess everywhere. Then, after giving her a reward for a job well done, we have to threaten her reward when she starts painting the walls with M&Ms. Not sure if this system is working or not, but.

  3. Oh so very true…

    I have three little minions. Potty training was hell every single time. EVENTUALLY, they get excited and want to go potty because they love the reward/praise/potty song & dance/bonding time. I took my kids in the bathroom every time I had to “go,” and it eventually got to a point with all of them where they congratulated ME every time I peed, because it was what I did for them. My youngest (just turned 4) still doesn’t wake up at night, so we use Pull-Ups at bedtime and nap-time, but she goes all day long without a problem.

    It’s a rough, smelly, laundry-doing road for sure, but when you reach that un-wet point, it’s a damn beautiful thing for sure.

    Also: Thank God for Febreeze! I swear that stuff was invented by mothers that were sick of smelling their teens’ rooms…

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