Things I Wish My Kids Would Learn

I’m pretty sure my kids are not going to grow up to be complete morons. Along the way, my goal as a parent is to teach them stuff. Important stuff.

Unfortunately, some of that learning is taking longer than I think it reasonably should.

Things I Wish My Kids Would Learn

  1. Which shoe goes on which foot.
  2. How to flush the toilet after you take care of business.
  3. When you ask me to do something for you and I’m in the middle of doing it, I cannot do the next thing you ask me to do and still finish the first thing.
  4. Whining is never going to get you anything nice.
  5. Whining longer is never going to make mommy happier, only angrier and more frustrated.
  6. Throwing stuff is going to result in a time out. Every time.
  7. At the end of every day is bedtime. There will never not be a bedtime at the end of the day.
  8. I cannot re-inflate a balloon that has popped.
  9. I cannot read you a story while I am driving the minivan.

What do you wish your kids would learn?

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About dirtyrottenparenting

I'm a parent of two lovely (most of the time) children. I work full time out of the home and I don't cook well, bake, sew, or do crafty things. I keep my high heels and jewelry at my office because there's no point in having them at home. I love Mondays because I can return to the world of adults, go to the bathroom alone and have nearly uninterrupted conversations with others.
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13 Responses to Things I Wish My Kids Would Learn

  1. My eldest is almost 18 and he is just learning #2 (no pun intended). I had to tell him if he didn’t flush, he would be banned from the upstairs bathroom. And he’s the smart one. Lord love a duck.

  2. Rita Russell says:

    My 18 year old daughter often forgets to flush, so my 20 year old son then “forgets” to clean the sink after he shaves and “forgets” to wear pants when her friends are over. (Yes he does we’re boxers). The good thing is they share a bathroom and my husband and I stay far, far away. And also that come September they will both attend university far, far away.

  3. Prompotamus says:

    I wish both of my children would learn that repeating themselves 10 times in a row is not necessary. Especially after I have already acknowledged that I heard them at some point during the first five times they were talking. Makes me nuts.

  4. sillyliss says:

    I am nodding like a maniac over here. Oh yeah. *cue Twix commercial music from 1980s*

  5. Kate Diamond says:

    For me it’s the delightful “I cannot retrieve your shoes/toys/book/Cheerios while I am driving” and also “If your shoes/toys/book/Cheerios are so imperative to your well-being, do not throw them on the floor in the first place.”

  6. momtimes4 says:

    Ha Ha! I love #8. I am surprised by how many times I have been asked to do this!

  7. “But I REALLY want to,” does not make Daddy any more inclined to let you do it.

  8. Cindy says:

    The shoe thing made me giggle! I kind of love that they wear it on the wrong foot. And the bedtime thing – the story of my life!!

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