My kids stink

You know how some people literally get confused about what is literal and what is figurative. Well, I’m not one of those people. My kids literally stink. We bathe them on a regular basis, we wash their clothes, and we make sure they put clean clothes on every morning before they leave the house. We do everything hygienically required in order to avoid having them stink, and still they manage to work up a vile stench.

Just the other day, my son went to the bathroom and intentionally left the door open. When his dad closed the door, the boy pushed it back open and said, “No dad, I want you to smell my stink.”

On a regular basis, I find myself astounded by the volume of stench produced by a single fart of the tiny creatures. How is it possible for a small 4 year old princess to fill an entire room with a stench so vile that you risk losing consciousness by staying in the room?

A few weeks ago, while putting my son to bed, he let out a long, horrendous fart, and I couldn’t even finish reading his bedtime story because I just had to leave the room. He has since promised never to fart while I’m putting him to bed.

We now talk about ‘keeping your farts in your bum’ because their stench is so repulsive.

So, I ask you all, is it just my children or do yours stink too?

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About dirtyrottenparenting

I'm a parent of two lovely (most of the time) children. I work full time out of the home and I don't cook well, bake, sew, or do crafty things. I keep my high heels and jewelry at my office because there's no point in having them at home. I love Mondays because I can return to the world of adults, go to the bathroom alone and have nearly uninterrupted conversations with others.
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2 Responses to My kids stink

  1. You are not alone! My dudes are very proud of their farts, etc. And, invariably, when we are in the car, one starts to giggle and that is my cue to roll down the windows. 😉

  2. mmtread says:

    Farting is not such a problem, but our youngest has the stankiest feet this side of ogrehood. I just can’t imagine how a 4 year-old can produce a funk generally reserved for the direst throes of hormone-ridden adolescence. You might appreciate this one: http://fieldnotesfromfatherhood.com/2013/06/27/cleanliness-is-next-to-impossible/

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